We Prayed For You Before We Knew You

Amber Harper IMG_4132Amber never chose adoption, rather it chose her.

Amber recalls, “As a little girl, my dolls found homeless kids and took them in. Also my sister and I regularly played ‘Orphan Annie’. As I grew older and started to learn more about adoption, I knew for certain that this was how I would make my family. In July of 2009, I became certified to adopt as a single parent.

“By October of 2011, I started looking into international adoption. I had always felt a pull towards Africa. I wanted to be a missionary as a teen, or perhaps join the Peace Corps after college.” Amber continues, “So in December of 2011 I started the process for adopting a child from the Democratic Republic of Congo” (DRC).

Being orphaned is tragic under any circumstance. There are five million orphans in the DRC, most who wonder the streets. The Congolese believe that orphaned street children are “witched”. Local Witch-doctors will often pour bleach on a child or set them on fire to excise the demons they believe the child has. Children lucky enough to be placed in an orphanage will likely be fed only once a day. Disease is rampant; fear and ostracization cling to them like a pall.

On May 19, 2012 Amber found a little girl on a ‘waiting child’ website and contacted her agency.

“That child has already been matched with a family,” the agency contact informed Amber.

However, a little girl had just come into one of their orphanages a few days before. They offered to e-mail her a picture.

“I said no, she was a little too old,” Amber remembers.

Amber had been approved for and wanted two girls under age five. The agency contact e-mailed the pictures anyway.

Harper's placement photo IMG_4130“I opened the email and looked at the pictures. The three photos in front of me were the saddest photos I had ever seen.” “I remember thinking,” says Amber, “Oh sweet girl! She is so, so skinny! I hope they find her a family! Look at those long thin legs. She looks so sad. So sad. She needs a mommy.”

Amber stared into her computer screen at the little face in the photos.

“I kept thinking, I could be her mommy. I can do it. She needs a mommy and I want a baby, we would be perfect. I’ll do it. I want to do it! I can be her mommy.” “When I typed the response, ‘I want her, I want to be her family’, I could barely see my phone,” Amber recalls. “The tears kept coming and coming.”

One would think that since Amber had been approved for adopting in the US and since the child was on a waiting list to be adopted from another country, that with a few more fees and a little more paper work, Amber and the child would be united and start their lives together. However they would have no clue what’s really involved in adopting a child from the DRC.

Once Amber had committed to the child in the photograph, she had to obtain another Home-study referral, more fingerprints, background checks, interviews, training and paperwork. Then there was court in the Congo.

On January 25, 2013 the sad little face in the photo became Amber’s legal family. She was then physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually responsible for that little girl, Harper.

Still Amber would not be able to wrap her arms around that skinny little body and comfort that wary little heart, or work on bringing a smile to that little face. It was passport approval time. In the spring of 2013, just before she was to go get Harper, the US started an investigation process to verify orphan status. In September of 2013 the Congolese government suspended all exit permits for adopted children.

Even though getting Harper out of the Congo had ground to a heart wrenching stop, Amber continued to prepare for the child she wanted so badly.

A friend who had been sending her children to Stone Ridge SDA Christian School for several years, shared some of her experiences with Amber about the school, its size and values.

Amber asked to have a place in the Kindergarten program reserved for her daughter. The Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Carlson, was happy to keep a spot open for the little girl from the Congo. A cubby was reserved for her. A basket with Harper’s brightly colored name tag attached was set on the cubby shelf. All that was needed was the coat and book bag to hang there, and of course the new little girl. The Kindergarten class started praying for their unmet friend Harper. Several months went by and the cubby remained empty, waiting, just like Amber.

In November of 2013 Amber received alarming pictures of Harper from a friend.

“My little girl was rail thin; her bones were sticking out and her eyes sunken.” Amber recalls with anxiety, “She was dying. I tried to get a travel visa to go and move her from the orphanage to a foster home.”

While waiting for permission to travel into the Congo, the orphan status investigation ended; it was December 2013. Harper’s exit visa was issued, but it would be issued two more times before she would really be able to leave the country.

In May of that year the Kindergarten class at Stone Ridge graduated and prepared for first grade with Mr. Carlson. Still Harper’s cubby remained empty.

Just because something doesn’t happen right away doesn’t mean it isn’t going to, and it doesn’t mean God isn’t listening. A new Kindergarten class would start praying for the little girl with the empty cubby.

In February of 2014 Amber was finally able to get into the Congo. Amber says. “Some friends of mine were able to pay off the orphanage director the week before I arrived so I would be able to take her to the hospital to be cared for. My little girl had Girardeau, malaria, typhoid, a blood infection, lice and jiggers. She weighed 28 pounds and was 44 inches tall. My sweet friend Laure, a doctor, saved Harper’s life and then let her stay in her home for 14 more months.”

Finally on April 2, 2015 Harper came home. Just 14 days shy of three years of working, worrying and waiting ended for Amber.

“There were, there are, so many new things, so many first things,” Amber remembers. We have had hard moments. There is trauma, drama and there are sleeping problems, behaviors, emotional roller coasters and that is just me!”

Imagine being eight years old, not understanding the language, or culture, and having to go to school with strangers’ every day. The size of the school, the schedule and the atmosphere becomes even more important than under normal circumstances.

“I knew I wanted Harper to go to Stone Ridge two years before she came home,” says Amber. “I had hopes and dreams of her attending Kindergarten with Mrs. Carlson, and then moving up with Mr. Carlson.”

Harper 1st week of School IMG_5041Harper has her own cubby in Mr. Carlson’s classroom now. It’s filled with all the things that second grade little girls have in their cubbies, a book bag, a sweeter, an extra pair of shoes, some favorite thing from home for show and tell.

“Thank goodness I had the option of Stone Ridge when Harper finally did come home,” Amber said. “The idea of putting my unschooled, non-English speaking eight year old right into a public school second grade classroom was terrifying. I am so excited that she has so much time outside during the day and has so much one on one help. Harper has already learned so much!”

One of the advantages of a multi-grade school is that Harper is able to move freely between Mrs. Carlson’s room as she learns phonics, numbers, colors, and object identification, and Mr. Carlson’s room where she spends time in her regular second grade class with the kids her age.

Harper has a definite spot here at school and here in our hearts. It’s exciting to see our prayers answered. It’s especially exciting when they involve the addition of a happy, healthy, bright little girl to our Stone Ridge family.

Collene Rognlie-Klick, Stone Ridge SDA Christian School Volunteer

e-TNL Staff: Brian Mungandi, Director; Melisa Mauk, Website-editor
E-mail: mnsdanewsletter@gmail.com Website: www.mnsdanewsletter.wordpress.com

e-TNL is an informational bulletin issued by the Communications Department of the Minnesota Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. You are free to re-print any portion of the bulletin without need for special permission. However, we kindly request that you identify e-TNL whenever you publish these materials.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s